Working in an ethnic neighborhood, I’ve gotten used to spotting a lot of the more prominent accents in my endeavors.  As a former linguistics student in college, I think that I have a pretty good grasp of certain accents, especially those from countries inhabiting East Asia and the Arabian Gulf. 

Recently I was speaking with a person of Iranian descent who had an extremely heavy accent.  When querying me for information he would interrupt me screaming, “VHAT?  VHAT YOU SAYY?  I NO UNDERSTAND YOU SAY!” to my basic, intelligible California tinged American accent.  It got to the point where after a while I just said, “fuck it” and started to speak back to him in a quasi Farsi (that’s the language in Iran, for the uninitiated) affectation that went something like this.

VE ARRRE ONE!

VE ARRRE ONE!

Hashan (my Iranian alter-ego):  “VHY YOU NO PAY YOURRR BILLS?  YOUUU KNOW YOU VERRRY LATE!”

Persian Customer:  “VHY BILL SO HIGH?  YOU GIVE ME DEEESCOUNNNT!”

Hashan:  “EEEMPOSSIBLE!  YOU ALRRREADY TREE MONTH LATE!  NEED MONEY OR NO SURRRVICE!”

Persian Customer:  “OK, OK.  (calming down)  Vhy you no say this beforrre?  Vhere…  vhat country you frrrom?”

Hashan:  (still shouting) “KORREA!  VE BOTH MEMBERR OF AXIS OF EVIL!”

Persian Man:  (excited) ”Oh, no vonder I like you.”

Elite team of Korean Special Forces, is it a coincidence that they're all Muslims?

Elite team of Korean Special Forces, is it a coincidence that they're all Muslims??

 And the proverbial ice in that transaction was broken and instant rapport was established.  And as satisfying as my intercultural exchange was, the icing on top of the cake was when my Iranian coworker came out of the other room as soon as I got off the phone, glared at me and asked me, “VHAT VAS THAT OHLL ABOUT??”